The past couple of days have felt like a waking nightmare for many of us. Sure, any presidential election is bound to bring its fair share of disappointment. But after Tuesday’s shocking results, a lot of people are also coping with heavier emotions—heartbreak, hopelessness, despair, and maybe even grief.
We typically associate grief with the loss of a person (or perhaps a beloved pet). But you don’t actually need to experience a physical death to feel that gut-wrenching pain. Right now, many Americans are reeling from a bunch of different losses, Adia Gooden, PhD, a clinical psychologist based in Chicago, tells SELF—and even though they’re not necessarily tied to specific people, they’re just as valid (and distressing).
Chances are, your sorrow doesn’t only stem from which candidate won: “Elections bring with them the promise of a future that you had hoped for,” Dr. Gooden explains. (After all, they can impact everything from our laws and rights to our social norms.) That future could have included things like affordable healthcare, for example, real action on climate change, or the first female president (one who’s Black and South Asian, no less). So when those hopes seemingly shatter and no longer feel in reach, it’s natural to mourn the loss and cycle through disbelief, frustration, numbness, and/or existential dread, she says.
Another thing to consider: “People may also be grieving the emotional investment they made for a particular outcome or vision,” Michele Nealon, PsyD, president of The Chicago School, tells SELF. Maybe you spent hours campaigning in a swing state or posting voting resources and infographics on your Instagram—and now, your efforts feel like a total waste. Or you endured draining conversations with bigoted family members all for nothing. In these instances, “grief may be about an anticipated path or set of values you believed would improve your life and community,” Dr. Nealon says. “And it’s normal to need to process and adjust to a reality different from what you worked so hard for.”
Most of us in the depths of grief right now aren’t just distressed about what already happened, though; we’re also freaking out about “what if” scenarios regarding certain freedoms, protections, and promises that could be taken away. “Unlike grief for a past event, anticipatory grief is centered on future possibilities, which can create a lingering sense of unease and make it hard to find peace,” Dr. Nealon explains.
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