The go-to advice for what to do if you hate your job is often some version of “Just quit! Put your mental health first!” Which sounds amazing, in theory. The problem? It’s not that simple.
Few people truly love their jobs 100% of the time: According to experts we spoke to, feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and even disliking your occupation from time to time is common—though it’s also far different from experiencing constant dread, say, burnout, and emotional detachment. Those are signs that your mental health has seriously been affected.
But not only is telling someone to walk away from their main source of income unrealistic, but it’s also extremely dismissive, according to Kerri Smith-Osei, LMFT, licensed therapist and founder of Nuff Healing in Woodland Hills, California. “It’s actually awful advice,” Smith-Osei tells SELF. For one, anyone stuck in a miserable profession has most definitely already thought (dreamed!) about leaving. More importantly, though, “people have responsibilities,” she points out. “They have bills. Their health insurance is usually tied to their jobs. And for marginalized communities, there are systems in place that make it really hard to just quit.”
That’s why anyone in this position deserves better, actionable advice—the kind that isn’t out-of-touch or generically cheesy. And while, unfortunately, there’s no quick fix for longstanding, systemic issues that keep us in less-than-desirable positions, we did ask therapists for the most realistic advice about what to do if you hate your job and can’t afford to leave. Here are their tips.
1. Meet your expectations—nothing more.
In today’s hustle culture, there’s often pressure to go above and beyond your day-to-day duties. Covering a coworker’s shift when they’re sick, answering emails at all hours, attending “mandatory” meetings even on your day off…that’s what you’re supposed to do, right?
But when your job is completely destroying your mental health, one of the simplest things you can do is to scale back your workload a bit—and there are ways to do that without tanking your reputation or getting flagged for poor performance. “Don’t underperform,” Smith-Osei says—meaning, don’t start showing up an hour late or blowing off critical tasks you’re expected to complete.
Instead, figure out your own definition of “bare minimum,” Smith-Osei suggested, which “can look like saying, ‘I’m going to get back to you tomorrow’ instead of answering every late-night request that comes across your table,’ or turning off notifications after-hours because that’s literally protecting your peace.” In other words, do what’s required—and leave it at that.
2. Block out time for breaks (and actually use them).
Don’t just scarf down lunch while answering calls or sitting through a meeting. Use any designated breaks to actually step away and take a breather. “A lot of the time, we go to the break room or whatever and we’re still seeing our colleagues, talking about work,” Tiffany Young, PhD, LPC, a therapist based in Waxahachie, Texas and author of Anxiety Goals: The Little Black Book of Day to Day Management of Anxiety for Black Women, tells SELF.
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