‘Outer Banks’ Star Carlacia Grant Shares the Most Valuable Lessons She’s Learned in Therapy

In SELF’s The Best Thing I Learned in Therapy series, we ask celebrities, athletes, and other notable people to share the therapy breakthroughs that changed their thinking—and their lives—for the better.

Whether or not you hopped on the Outer Banks bandwagon during the pandemic, you can’t ignore its massive popularity—it’s already on its fourth season (which premiered on October 10) and one of the most-watched shows on Netflix. It’s got action, romance, suspense, and plenty of nail-biting drama. But a lot of the series’ charm comes from its memorably quirky characters, including OGs like John B., Pope, and Kiara, and newer faces like Cleo: She’s bold, brave, and unafraid to stand her ground—all traits that the actor who plays her, Carlacia Grant, aspires to embody in her own life.

“Me and Cleo are both very fearless,” Grant tells SELF. “We go after what we want, and we’re protective of our loved ones and friends.” But that empowered, confident perspective didn’t come naturally: Grant found her way there with the help of a good therapist.

“I was really kind of uncomfortable with the idea of therapy. At first, I was like, ‘No, I don’t think that’s for me. It doesn’t work,’” she explains. But it wasn’t until she recently lost someone very close to her that she decided to give it a shot. “I was like, ‘I’m so broken, so you know what? Let me try it,’” Grant says. “And it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.” Here, the Outer Banks star shares the most valuable lessons she’s learned in therapy, as told to SELF’s lifestyle writer Jenna Ryu.

This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.

It’s okay to speak up for yourself, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.

Because of my upbringing and the way I was raised in a very strict Caribbean household, it wasn’t really a place where I could communicate my needs and wants. It wasn’t a place where I could say, “Actually, I don’t want to eat that. I want to eat something else now.” That wasn’t the environment for that. It was more like, “No, you’re going to take whatever I give you and you’re not allowed to have any type of reaction.”