This article is part of SELF’s third annual Rest Week, an editorial package dedicated to doing less. Taking care of yourself, physically and emotionally, is impossible without genuine downtime. With that in mind, we’ll be publishing articles up until the new year to help you make a habit of taking breaks, chilling out, and slowing down. (And we’re taking our own advice: The SELF staff will be OOO during this time!) We hope to inspire you to take it easy and get some rest, whatever that looks like for you.
By definition, luxuries are nonessential but, my apologies to both Merriam and Webster, I think we need them—maybe now more than ever. Political tensions are exhaustingly high, schedules and inboxes are overflowing, and loneliness is a full-on public health crisis. The world is just….a lot. And when you’re also dealing with your own personal stuff (as we all are), the pressure can reach a breaking point.
That’s where little luxuries come in. Can they change election results, silence your endless barrage of notifications, or instantly eliminate tough feelings? If only. But leveling up your life in small but meaningful ways can add more calm, comfort, and joy, which will give you the energy you need to show up for yourself—and other people. And if that’s not real self-care, I don’t know what is. “I tend to think of luxury as less about ‘extravagance’ and more about creating moments in your day-to-day routines where you feel soothed, grounded, and grateful for the beauty and pleasures of life,” Annia Raja, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist based in Los Angeles, tells SELF.
These moments will look different for everyone (one person’s ahh is another’s meh), but the types of luxuries Dr. Raja is talking about will all have the same effect: Making you feel a little less stressed and a lot more appreciative of the simple things. So, whether I’m preaching to the choir or you need some inspiration to make a luxurious lifestyle change, here are some practical tips from experts and SELF staffers that can help you feel like a million bucks—on the inside.
Indulge in something delightfully impractical.
“This could be a beautifully illustrated book, a small bouquet of fresh flowers, a gorgeous candle with a calming scent, or even a pretty (or quirky) piece of art from a vintage store or flea market. We may not necessarily ‘need’ these things from a purely practical perspective, but people love and find intrinsic joy in beautiful things, so it arguably is a human need to find ways to regularly infuse beauty into our daily lives, even if in small ways.” —Dr. Raja
Moisturize your whole body—and really get into it.
“I have friends who invest in good facial products but ignore their skin from the neck down because it’s covered up most of the day. Meanwhile, I like to be soft and bouncy everywhere, so lotioning up is a no-brainer. While I’m massaging in my moisturizer of choice, I’m also checking everything out—are there aches or areas that need additional attention? See, it’s practical! A lady walking her grounds!” —Kulap VIlaysack, comedian, actress, and co-host of the Add to Cart podcast
If scented candles aren’t your thing, load up on fragrance-free ones.
“Unscented taper candles are a great way to make everything feel fancier and are an especially nice option if you’re a ‘scented candles are an instant headache’ girlie. Light them liberally—whether you’re working on your favorite little hobby, watching TV, or having a boring weeknight dinner. Don’t wait for ‘special occasions.’” —Rachel Wilkerson Miller, Editor in chief
Take a luxurious shower.
“Showering is baked into your routine, so elevating the experience is an easy way to make life a little more relaxing without taking a lot of extra time (that you probably don’t have). Lay out your outfit before you hop in, tune into the feeling of the water on your skin, get a chill playlist going in there. These small tweaks can suddenly make the mundane task of washing your bod feel like a much-needed moment to—and for—yourself.” —Cathryne Keller, Lifestyle Director
Moisturize your whole body—and really get into it.
“I have friends who invest in good facial products but ignore their skin from the neck down because it’s covered up most of the day. Meanwhile, I like to be soft and bouncy everywhere, so lotioning up is a no-brainer. While I’m massaging in my moisturizer of choice, I’m also checking everything out—are there aches or areas that need additional attention? See, it’s practical! A lady walking her grounds!” —Kulap VIlaysack, comedian, actress, and co-host of the Add to Cart podcast
Give your kitchen a thorough, proper clean right after you’re finished eating dinner.
“I feel way calmer and fancier when I walk into my kitchen and it’s clean and in order. So put those dishes right in the dishwasher, wipe down all your countertops, and tidy any stray items. It requires a bit more work up front, but this habit makes the space less of a visual nag throughout the day, which helps me feel less stressed.” —Hannah Pasternak, Special Projects Director
Create a “micro retreat” in your home.
“I’m big on how spaces can impact your mood, and having some part of your home that’s dedicated to mental calm and relaxation is one way to have a more luxurious life. This could be a little nook with a comfy chair and a cozy throw that you can snuggle up in. It could be a corner of your bedroom with art on the wall, a pretty lamp with warm lighting, and a book to read before bed. It could even just be some eucalyptus leaves hung in your shower that make washing up more fragrant and relaxing. These small touches can help give you a sense of retreating away from the daily chaos, even if just for a few minutes a day.” —Dr. Raja
Embrace everyday gifts with your partner.
“At least once a week, I’ll try to surprise my partner with something small at the end of the day, or he’ll do the same for me. If one of us is picking up groceries on the way home, for example, we’ll toss in a pint of ice cream (more fun than flowers to me). The dopamine hit from the little treat—and the surprise of it—adds a sweet, special quality to an otherwise boring week.” —Erica Sloan, Senior Health Writer
Choose a main-character soundtrack for your background music.
“Putting on this Nancy Meyers Spotify playlist when you’re cooking, cleaning, or doing anything at home really will make you feel like Meryl Streep in It’s Complicated, which is a very luxurious way to feel.” —RWM
Take. Your. Time.
“I love a luxe blanket or flickering candle, but my very best tip for making life feel more luxurious is taking your time. I’m a fast talker and walker with a fast-paced job and a fun little thing called anxiety, and my therapist recently taught me that moving at a leisurely pace (which slows down your breathing, too) can help counteract the ‘fight or flight’ gear your nervous system shifts into when you’re stressed. Instead of walking as fast as you can on your mid-morning coffee run, try to stroll as if you have nowhere to be. Rather than frantically peeling off your clothes at the end of the day as anxious thoughts swirl in your head, try to complete each step mindfully: Carefully put your work outfit away and slowly step into your comfy pants.
If you’re anything like me, feeling like you don’t have enough time is a major anxiety trigger, so taking up more might seem counterintuitive. But I can tell you from experience that adding a few more minutes here and there probably won’t make or break your day—and slowing your body and breathing down to remind your brain that, actually, you’re okay is so, so worth it. —CK
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