Perhaps it’s the delicious mocktails on tap at your local bar or the terrible bout of hangxiety you get whenever you drink. Maybe it’s the influx of research linking alcohol to a wide range of health issues, including liver disease, cancer, and mental health disorders. There are endless reasons people—roughly half Americans, per recent estimates—are giving up booze. But the pressure to drink remains strong.
That’s because, historically, social activities have largely centered around alcohol, Annalyse Lucero, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed substance abuse counselor, tells SELF. Think about it: Weddings and office parties often feature open bars, book clubs are routinely paired with wine, and what would trivia night be without a dirt-cheap pitcher of beer?
Quitting booze can feel like an intimidating choice, especially when your friends are still inviting you to happy hour, which is why experts recommend having a game plan in place. After all, when you take alcohol out of the picture, you eventually need to replace it with another thing—whether that be a zero-proof beverage or a sober activity you actually enjoy. “Alcohol served some purpose in your social life,” says Lucero. “If you’re not centering something else—like connection, joy, pleasure, excitement—you might feel like you’re missing out.”
Here’s how to quit drinking, avoid the FOMO, and actually stick with it.
Know if and when you may have a problem—and talk to a doctor.
Before we dig into the ways to successfully cut back on drinking, Smita Das, MD, PhD, MPH, a board-certified addiction psychiatrist and the chair of the American Psychiatric Association’s Council on Addiction Psychiatry, points out an important caveat: If you’re a chronic, heavy drinker—that roughly means five-plus drinks a day for men, or four or more for women—trying to stop cold turkey puts you at risk of alcohol withdrawal syndrome. “Withdrawal can require medical attention and be life-threatening,” Dr. Das says. If regularly drinking that amount of alcohol is where you are now, see a physician about whether you need to safely detox with medical help and pursue options for addiction treatment—under no circumstances should you go through this alone.
Dr. Das emphasizes that you should also tell any mental health care professionals you see about your plans to quit drinking so they can adjust their treatment plans if necessary. “[Many] people with a substance use disorder like alcohol use disorder (AUD) have another mental health condition, so it’s really important to treat both,” she says. “If we don’t treat depression or anxiety that might be associated with [excessive drinking], then we’re only working with half of what’s going on.”
Determine your why.
Lucero recommends asking yourself why you want a new relationship with alcohol. “Maybe you’re sick of feeling ashamed after boozy night outs. Or perhaps your hangovers have become unbearable or you have a chronic health condition, like inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), that flares up when you drink.
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