Everyone farts—it’s a biological fact. But whether you interpret that odorous puff of air as a harmless (even funny) fact of life or a gross human indecency turns out to be surprisingly telling—and apparently, controversial enough to spark a passionate internet debate: Were you raised in a fart-pride household, or a fart-shame one? In other words: Do you feel perfectly comfortable letting one slip in front of your family, or does the thought sound rude, awkward, or just plain disgusting?
Our reactions to something as universal as passing gas are influenced by a variety of different factors. “Sometimes, it’s as simple as recognizing that what’s rude in one culture, like slurping your food, isn’t in another,” Thea Gallagher, PsyD, clinical associate professor of psychology at NYU Langone Health, tells SELF. Individual preferences play a role, too: “Others might have stronger disgust responses,” Dr. Gallagher explains. “So even hearing somebody chew food, for example, can trigger a strong, negative reaction.”
Beyond cultural context and personal sensitivities, however, the unspoken “fart rules” of your childhood home can seemingly shape much more than your sense of bathroom etiquette. According to mental health experts, they can be a bigger representation of how you handle embarrassment, how you express vulnerability, how you get along with potential partners, and even how secure you feel in your most human, “imperfect” moments. (Yes, we’re psychoanalyzing flatulence. Stay with us.)
What it means if you grew up in a fart-pride household
So you grew up passing gas around your family. It doesn’t matter how loud, smelly, or annoyingly ill-timed: To you, a fart is just a fart—one you let rip as soon as the urge strikes, without embarrassment and maybe even with a snug hint of pride. There might have been some playful finger-pointing about who did it, or a dramatic “Ew!” in response to a silent-but-deadly surprise. Ultimately, though, there was no panic or shame from your parents or siblings. It was treated as casually as a cough or sneeze.
When you’re raised in an environment where something widely considered off-putting is treated like no big deal, therapists say it usually reflects someone’s ability to embrace, rather than hide, their own imperfections. “These individuals may be more likely to view close relationships as spaces where they’re valued for being authentic and accepted for being vulnerable,” whether that be with a close friend or a romantic partner, Shannon Chavez Qureshi, PsyD, AASECT-certified sex therapist and clinical psychologist based in Los Angeles, tells SELF.
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