Another tip: Give your vagina a break (meaning, no penetration) until the soreness subsides. You may just need to give it some time. It shouldn’t take too long for the pain to subside, and if it persists, call your doctor.
Why does my vagina hurt after sex?
If you have pain after sex, or feel like your vagina is particularly sore after a routine romp, there’s a wide variety of potential explanations. Below, experts explain some of the most common reasons to feel sore after sex.
1. There wasn’t enough lubrication.
One of the most common causes of pain during or after intercourse that can lead to a sore vagina is inadequate lubrication. (Take notes, because this one’s going to come up a few times.) Everyone produces different amounts of natural lubrication, and there are plenty of reasons why—age, birth control, and other medications, including certain antidepressants, antihistamines, and blood pressure drugs, to name a few. When your vagina isn’t properly lubricated during sex, the friction can cause tiny tears in your skin and make your vagina hurt after sex. The biggest clue you needed more lubrication: The discomfort or burning is right around the opening of your vagina, Dr. Greves says.
To get some relief ASAP, Dr. Abdur-Rahman recommends putting a little lube in your vagina after sex. He likens it to putting lotion on your skin when it’s feeling particularly dry; it’s not too late to moisturize down there, and it can actually have a soothing effect. Just stay away from any lube with alcohol in it, which can make the burning worse. Dr. Minkin recommends buying a tiny bottle of something first so you can experiment and make sure you like it before stocking up.
How to prevent pain during and after sex: The easiest way to increase vaginal lubrication is by using lube. You can apply it to your partner’s penis, on a sex toy, or even directly on your vulva—experiment and see what feels best (here’s SELF’s guide to using lube).
2. You weren’t sufficiently aroused before sex.
Sometimes you’re just not totally in the mood, and that’s okay. But having sex when you’re not very aroused can also lead to lack of lubrication and, ultimately, a sore vagina afterward. Oftentimes, this is due to a lack of foreplay. “No foreplay means no arousal means no natural lubrication,” Dr. Minkin says.
How to prevent pain during and after sex: Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay! Getting in the mood causes your vagina to expand and naturally lubricate itself. “Lubrication is always important—and it takes time,” Dr. Minkin says. Rather than rushing into things, try communicating with your partner and showing them what you like in the pregame department. And, if you want to have sex but you feel like you’re not as aroused as you’d like to be, Dr. Greves says this is another instance where applying lubricant can come in handy. If after trying these things you still having a difficult time getting your head in the game, talk with your ob-gyn; they can help you figure out what’s behind your low sex drive and work with you to find a good solution.
3. Your partner or sex toy is seriously well-endowed.
If your partner’s penis, their hand, or the dildo they’re using is quite big, it can actually stretch your vagina, causing some minor tearing. Needless to say, that does not feel great—in fact, toys are one of the main causes behind vaginal injuries, research shows. According to Dr. Abdur-Rahman, this pain might even be reminiscent of menstrual cramps.
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