Emmy also says that movement benefited her mother. “I noticed that the more active and engaged we kept [my mother], the better off she was overall,” she says. After moving into a care home, Emmy says her mom would often walk back and forth in the hallways. “It became a simple but consistent way to keep her moving,” she says. “Unfortunately, once she couldn’t walk anymore, everything seemed to decline much more quickly.”
5. Experiment until you find methods of engagement that resonate the most.
It may take some trial and error to figure out what works for your loved one. “For example, jigsaw puzzles are on many lists of stimulating activities,” Leslie K., whose husband, Tom, has Alzheimer’s, tells SELF. But Tom was never that interested in jigsaw puzzles.
However, he’s always loved to read. “Frequent visits to the library have been an activity that hits several of his hot buttons,” Leslie says. “He’s with others socially [but it] doesn’t require lots of conversation, the library has a constant supply of new books, and he stays cognitively challenged.”
6. Consider giving them household chores that are safe and can offer a sense of purpose.
Jenny M. helped to care for her mother, who lived with Alzheimer’s disease for more than 13 years. She says her mom always wanted to spend time with the family and help with chores, so they tried to respond to that to keep her engaged and active. “We would include her in all that we did. She loved going to Costco with us and shopping. She loved helping set the table when we had family dinners. Sometimes, we would put a laundry basket full of towels and ask her to help fold them,” she says.
Leslie also says she’s shuffled around household chores to give her husband tasks that best suit his abilities. “He now has the responsibility of emptying the dishwasher and folding the laundry,” she says. “I’ve bought more cloth napkins, so he has a steady supply of things to sort and fold.” Leslie says she’ll take some quiet time here and there to think through what responsibilities he may appreciate having on his plate so she can continue giving him opportunities to contribute, which she says helps give him a sense of purpose.
7. Read out loud to them, particularly from material that connects with their past.
Rick’s father, a former college English professor, used to read to him and his sisters before bedtime when they were kids. So, once his dad developed Alzheimer’s, Rick read out loud to help keep him “mentally aware.” “Dad had always appreciated good writing,” he says. “I chose to share work from some of his favorite authors (e.g., Mark Twain and Charles Dickens)—those that he had introduced to me many years earlier.”
8. Try to continue to do things together you’ve always loved.
Karen S. is caring for her husband, Anthony, who was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease in 2023. “Travel has always been a passion for us, and I wanted to keep that tradition alive despite his diagnosis,” she tells SELF. So, Karen planned a 10-day Mediterranean cruise with Anthony’s sister and brother-in-law.
“To make the trip smoother, I gave Anthony a lanyard with my name, cell phone number, and our cabin information attached in case he got lost,” she says. “I carried all his essentials—phone, wallet, and glasses—so he didn’t have to worry about them.”
Karen also says she packed Anthony’s clothes to make sure he was prepared and didn’t forget anything important. “While it added extra responsibility for me, these adjustments allowed Anthony to relax and enjoy the experience without unnecessary stress,” she says.
—for free.
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